A Good Friday Montage

OK, I’m not exactly sure how this happened, but this blog is like three weeks behind on what’s actually happening in my Bike Life, in my Life of Bike, in my 100 Years of Bikeitude, so I’m just gonna montage this shit to get caught up. Yes, this cuts out some VERY COMICAL AND MAYBE WE CAN ALL LEARN SOMETHING posts I had planned, but things are a-poppin’ and I want to get on with it.

Uhhhhh we need montage music. We were talking about this album last night on Facenbake, so here:

I Am Doing OK

My mother wrote to me and was like, “I enjoy your blog but I’m scared for you.” And I had to tell her, “Oh, yeah, don’t worry, I’m just telling a story, everything’s fine.”

The last time I wrote about bike training I was talking about flaming out on a short ride and feeling like this was going to be impossible. Which was true! And how I felt! But that was weeks ago, I’m awesome again, look out, toot-toot.

I had a mental breakthrough shortly after that disastrous ride, and it changed everything. For one, I had the Brilliant Genius Observation that I didn’t have to pedal as fast and hard as I possibly could at all times. I didn’t need to tackle this like a bike commuter who’s late for work. A tiny mouse in a hat pulled on my shirt sleeve and said, “You know – if you slow your pace down just a little you could probably bike for a lot longer.” And I was like, “Thank you, talking mouse!” And the mouse controls my mind now and I do his evil bidding.

The bigger mental breakthrough, which I made without the assistance of Dr. Henry Mousington, is that this isn’t a 20 mile ride: it’s two 10 mile rides with a rest in between. That made ALL the difference. I began breaking my rides up into two parts, with breaks in between for hydration and a little snack. and then back on with it.

It has been wonderful, and it’s made it so much easier, and leaves me with enough energy to help Dr. Mousington plan the heist at the cheese factory this afternoon.

So now I ride, a little slower pace, a little easier on myself, and take a nice break out in the middle of nowhere and take a picture before heading back. First for a 10 mile ride, then 12, then 14, and so on.


I took that the other day in the middle of a 16 mile ride. I’m getting there, man.

I Am Hungry All the Time

I’ve never felt like this and it’s bizarre. It totally makes sense: I’m draining my body a lot with these longer rides, and I’m constantly parched and starving. I’m drinking less alcohol – I can, at this point, feel everything constricting when there’s alcohol in my system and my body craves openness. It needs more oxygen, more fuel.  It hates bad food.

I’m blowing through piles of fruit, gallons of recovery smoothies. Handfuls of carrots. Pasta for dinner cuz I need the carbs. The other night I was at one of my favorite Atlanta hangouts, which specializes in Fried Pile with a side of Gravy, and I ordered a caprese salad. It was my dinner. It was very nice!

Unlike the first blog, my goal here isn’t weight loss – it’s getting specifically through this event. I’m sure I’m losing weight – I can see it in how my clothes fit. But I haven’t weighed myself. I don’t care. All I’m thinking about is the miles. That’s new.

OK, Not Being Completely Lonely and Miserable Has Certainly Helped

I know we’re supposed to love ourselves first and all that, but I’m horrible at that, one of the worst, so I’m fully aware that one of the big reasons I feel OK is that I’ve met someone. She is very private, so I won’t say much more than that, other than that I’m very happy and relaxed when I’m around her, even if we don’t get to see each other very much (as single parents with weird schedules who don’t live in the same town.)

All I will say, for the purposes of this blog, is that she’s a fitness monster and it’s certainly kept me motivated. Even if Bo Bikes Bama hadn’t reared its head I knew I had to step my shit up to keep pace with her. She does triathlons and Crossfit. She never sits still (neither do I, so that works well.) I asked her to send me her workout routine, and she sent one, and I said, “OK, I think I will do maybe two of those things, you are insane.” She doesn’t make me feel bad about it, though. She recognizes we’re at different fitness levels and it’s not a thing. She’s laid back. Time with her is easy.

Per her advice, I’ve been going to the gym in between bike rides to build up my leg muscles (before I’d been using off days to work arms and give my legs a rest.) This alone has made a huge difference. Slowly but surely, everything is getting easier.

Everything Else is Kind of Messed Up, But I’m OK About It

Yes, I’m still looking for work, and I got a few rejections this week that stung pretty bad. I’m not used to interviewing for jobs and not getting them. Living here has humbled me in innumerable ways.

But, whatever. I’ll figure it out. I’m not depressed and haven’t felt flashes of doom for a while. Maybe it’s the exercise, maybe it’s just luck, dunno. I’m rolling with it. Enjoying it while it lasts. As stressful as it is, I’m glad to fill the time with prepping for this ride. I wouldn’t have time otherwise. Like I said, I can’t sit still.

At some point I will get an awesome job, and then I will get caught up on all my debts, and I’ll be able to take care of my son the way I want to, and everything will be on the level. Until it is, I’m just trying to keep my head up. And we’ll see how much Dr. Mousington gets on the black market after this cheese heist – I’m supposed to get 15%, which is a little low, sure, but I trust that he knows that he’s doing.

Today is Good Friday. Tomorrow I will dress a little boy in a little suit his grandmother bought him and take Easter pics on the courthouse steps. We will hunt for eggs and enjoy good meals. I will rest. And then next week I will be back at it. Next week I will go for it – my first 20 mile ride. Then I will help Baby Mama build up her miles.

Two weeks to go and I know I can do this. I can see sunlight, and that is a new feeling, and for the first time in years I’m not going to turn away from it. Can’t stop, won’t stop. Happy Easter, you guys.


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